


zoey's extraordinary awkwardness

by zoeysdianetti



Category: Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (TV)
Genre: F/F, I DON'T EVEN SHIP THEM, anygay enjoy, but they're gay so i had to, clarkeman ftw, i don't know either man, the episode wrecked me and i needed to cope, they could be cute??? maybe???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:09:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoeysdianetti/pseuds/zoeysdianetti
Summary: This work takes place right after 1x09.Zoey has just heard Simon and Jessica sing Happier and feels guilty. She wants to help them, so she tries to go after Simon. He doesn't let her get close, so Zoey gives up. To her surprise, Jessica is still there and she wants to spend time with Zoey.
Relationships: Zoey Clarke/Jessica
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	zoey's extraordinary awkwardness

It has been a long week and Zoey is exhausted. After helping Howie and his daughter reconnect, telling Simon how she really feels and the tiny victory at home that makes her parents able to sleep together in the same bed again, all she really wants is to go home and watch a true crime show in her sweatpants. Sadly, it seems that’s not an option. When Simon walks up to her and starts singing  _ Happier _ , she first assumes he’s singing it to her. Then she sees Jessica walk out of his office, joining in the duet.  _ Shit _ .

Zoey watches the duet with fascination and worry. She fears this is all her fault. Telling Simon how she felt was a mistake, she has become the homewrecker she absolutely never wanted to be. Zoey desperately wants to apologise to both of them, but she’s too late to get the elevator, so she storms down the stairs. She almost trips and falls, but she catches herself just in time. She reaches the lobby downstairs right when Simon is leaving the building.

“Simon!” she yells, all out of breath. He turns around, but when he sees her, he moves up his pace, not looking back once. Zoey just stands there, defeated and exhausted. She curses her stupid power. Without it, everything would have been so much easier. She would have never sung to him (or Max, for that matter), she wouldn’t have to help everyone all the time to get rid of the stupid songs. She wouldn’t even be downstairs right now, because without the song she wouldn’t even have known Jessica and Simon broke up.

Zoey decides there’s no point. Simon probably hates her and she doesn’t even want to imagine what Jessica will do when she sees her. To her surprise, when she turns around she sees Jessica sitting on the massive wooden stairs. She’s crying, which is not unusual, considering the situation. Zoey wants to sneak away to the elevators and leave all of this behind her, she has done enough. Unfortunately, Jessica sees her and calls her name. Zoey contemplates pretending she didn’t hear her, but eventually turns around and walks over anyway.

“Hey Jessica. What’s up?”

In her mind, Zoey facepalms.  _ What’s up _ , what kind of question is that to ask a crying woman?

“It’s over between me and Simon. We’ve been fighting for a while, ever since the engagement party really.”

“I’m sorry about that. Truely, terribly sorry. This is all my fault, I’m a terrible person.”

“I’m not going to say you’re wrong, because you’re not. But it’s not entirely your fault. I had been bottling up stuff before the party. When I heard you talking to your mom, that gave me an excuse to snap. I wasn’t even really mad at you. At least, not before you destroyed my flower wall. I just wanted Simon to open up to me and I guess I was jealous of you because you understand him better than I do.”

“Believe me, this is something you don’t want to understand from your own experiences. It sucks and I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemies.”

Jessica sighs and looks down at her feet. Zoey finally sits down next to her, pulling her knees up to her chest. She does this sometimes when she feels guilty or when she wants to feel safe. Today, it’s both.

“Is there anything I can do? Anything at all,” Zoey asks. Jessica looks up at Zoey, and Zoey can already hear a beat. Jessica starts singing.

_ Found you when your heart was broke _

_ I filled your cup until it overflowed _

_ Took it so far to keep you close _

_ I was afraid to leave you on your own _

At this point, Jessica gets up and starts dancing. Zoey looks at her. She admires Jessica and the smooth movements of her body.

_ I said I'd catch you if you fall _

_ And if they laugh, then fuck 'em all _

_ And then I got you off your knees _

_ Put you right back on your feet _

_ Just so you can take advantage of me _

Jessica looks angry and sad, her movements getting more aggressive. Zoey would be scared, but she can feel none of this is directed at her. This is all anger toward Simon.

_ Tell me how's it feel sittin' up there _

_ Feeling so high but too far away to hold me _

_ You know I'm the one who put you up there _

_ Name in the sky _

_ Does it ever get lonely? _

_ Thinking you could live without me _

_ Thinking you could live without me _

Zoey’s mind is working overtime, trying to figure out what the song means. She assumes it’s because Jessica always gave in when Simon talked about his dad, always letting him use it as an excuse to be emotionally unavailable. Simon took it too far, and now the relationship can’t be saved anymore.

_ Baby, I'm the one who put you up there _

_ I don't know why  _

_ Thinking you could live without me _

_ Live without me _

_ Baby, I'm the one who put you up there _

_ I don't know why _

Jessica settles down next to Zoey again, in the exact same spot she was before she started singing.

“Actually, I could really use a friend right now. Are you up for drinks?”

“Are— Are you sure it won’t be weird?” Zoey asks cautiously.

“It won’t be unless we allow it to be weird, and I know for a fact I won’t.”

“Okay, sure, let’s go.”

Jessica leads the way to her favourite coffeeshop. They both order and sit down with their drinks. Zoey feels awkward. She works at a firm with all dudes and has never really had a ton of friends, especially not girlfriends. She has no idea how to keep a conversation going with Jessica.

“I like your shoes,” Zoey blurts out.

“Thank you! I like yours too.”

Zoey can feel herself blushing and tries to hide it by leaning her elbows on the table and covering her cheeks with her hands, but that just makes her look overly interested in Jessica. She tries to go back to a natural position, but she has forgotten how to be normal.

“Zoey? Are you okay?”

Zoey sighs and relaxes her body.

“No. I’m bad at this. You’re just very pretty and you’re a girl and I’m not used to any of this. I’ve never really had a girlfriend, except for Joan, but that doesn’t count. I’m used to being surrounded by dudes.”

“Is there anything you would be better at than sitting and talking? Anything that would make you feel less awkward?”

“Dumb movies and true crime are my comfort zone.”

“Okay, can we do anything with that?”

“I don’t think you want to listen to a podcast with me.” Zoey forces out a chuckle. “I’m sorry I’m so boring. You probably expected something else.”

“It’s fine, really. Seeing you have a nervous breakdown over how to be human makes my problems look easier.”

“I’m glad you can embrace the mess.”

“So… Want to watch a dumb movie?”

Zoey smiles. “Sure.”

They go to Zoey’s place. Zoey microwaves some popcorn while Jessica gets comfortable on the couch and chooses a movie on Netflix. By the time Zoey sits down next to her with a bowl of popcorn, the opening credits of  _ Letters to Juliet _ are playing on the tv.

“ _ This _ is your idea of a dumb movie?” Zoey says in disbelief.

“Well, yeah… It’s just another unrealistic romance. Don’t you think that’s dumb?”

“If you say so. I was more thinking like, Back to the Future or something. It’s whatever though, we’ll watch this.”

Zoey ends up relaxing and genuinely enjoying the movie. For a moment, she forgets all about what kind of a week it has been. She even briefly forgets she’s watching a romantic movie with the ex-fiancée of her crush. One of her crushes. And yet, sitting here with Jessica feels just as right as sitting here with Max. She snuggles under a blanket with Jessica, because she only has one. After all, she’s used to being alone. By the time the movie is over, Jessica is crying.

“I thought you said this was an unrealistic, dumb movie,” Zoey says.

“It is. But it’s still a beautiful ending. I was supposed to have that. A beautiful wedding, the man I loved, all of it. But instead I’m all alone with a cancelled wedding.”

“Ouch. I’m right here.”

“I don’t blame you for anything Zoey. You’re amazing. This was something that we were struggling with before I even knew you existed. You only made us talk about it. And eventually talking became our downfall.”

“Well, maybe we shouldn’t talk then. Like ever. I would hate to ruin this. I had fun tonight with you, Jessica. I mean, I definitely need to teach you what a bad movie is, but apart from that you can stay.”

  
Zoey catches Jessica staring at her lips and then back up to her eyes. Zoey’s eyes trail off too, examining Jessica’s face. Her eyes are still wet and puffy from crying. Her brown eyes don’t meet hers. And suddenly Zoey knows why she turned Max down. And she knows why she wanted to be with Simon. It was never about either of them. It was about Jessica. And then she turns off all her thoughts and gently places her lips on Jessica’s. Jessica reciprocates the kiss. Zoey feels on top of the world. She never knew something could feel this  _ right _ .

**Author's Note:**

> for anyone wondering: the song is without me by halsey


End file.
